first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
