Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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