WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
