did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
