are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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