Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
