I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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