I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
