If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
