Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
