Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
