watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just had sex on a roof
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
