nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
