I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
