I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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