I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
3 2 1 whiskey
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
