i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
