Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
