Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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