I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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