They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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