you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
