i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
