No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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