i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's shark week go big or go home
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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