Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
