Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
