out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
