It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
