That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im holly from the hills drunk
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
