super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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