I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
