well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
