I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
