she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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