I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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