all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
