cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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