OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
