I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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