How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
