Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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