She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
