I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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