I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So here I am, sexting at work.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
