Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
