Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
