But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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