i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize