Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
