guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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