Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
and you fell through a lawn chair
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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