Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
