so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
